- 1 Cor. 16:14
Somewhere along the way we were taught that being single is a bad thing, a curse if you will; when actually being single is a blessing. It is a time for God and you to get acquainted, for you to learn all about Him and fall in love with Him before He releases you to be with your husband. You see, God wants you to know and understand the true definition of Love BEFORE you get married, and He wants to be the one to teach it to you.
You will actually come to a point where you enjoy staying home alone on a Friday night -- just you and God. In fact, you will actually feel a little annoyed and intruded upon when God does send you your spouse. When you spend time alone with God you are in the presence of a pure, unconditional love – a perfect love – and you will not want to be interrupted.
Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband. The Lord of hosts is His name.” Ladies, God is your husband, until He sends you your husband, and even then, God is still your husband. He is your FIRST love and He will always be the One you put first in your life, in your marriage. He is the One you will turn to and ask help from when your earthly husband grates on your last nerve. He is the One that will NEVER forget your anniversary or your birthday, and He is the One who will not yell at you when you back your husband’s car into the garbage cans for the third time. God is to be first and foremost in your life; yes, even above your earthly husband.
Marriage is important to God, and God knows how important being married is to you. In fact, the subject of marriage is so important to God that He talks about it in the Book of Genesis – the very first book of the bible. God did not wait and hide an arbitrary sentence in the middle of the 34th Book of the Bible. No! He put it in the first book, second chapter. Right after He created the world, the animals and Adam, God talks about marriage.
Genesis Chapter 2, verse 18 says, “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help fit for him.” Some bibles say “help meet for him”, and a lot of women misinterpret that as “help-meet” or “helpmate”. A help “fit” for him is an adjective and means a spouse that is “appropriate,” “suitable,” “proper,” “qualified or competent,” “prepared, ready.” Helpmate or help-meet is a noun and means “anything that aids or assists.” I do not want to be just anything to my husband; I want to be suitable, proper, qualified, competent, prepared and ready. See the difference?
But I have been praying for years and God still has not sent me a husband. God is using this time in your life to prepare you for your husband, and likewise your husband for you. God wants the best for you, sweetheart, so give Him a chance to prepare your spouse for you. You do not want a husband that God has not finished preparing and making ready for you. How would you like to meet your husband and find out he is carrying 3 suitcases stuffed full of his “dirty laundry” from his past that he has not dealt with yet? No one is perfect, we all have issues from our past. However, it is best to wait for God to clean up some of that “dirty laundry” that the man is holding on to before the two of you meet.
Oh, and while you are waiting for God to clean your husband up, ask Him to clean you up, too !! Your spouse is not going to want to clean all your “dirty laundry” that you have been carrying around for years, either.
Psalm 37, verses 3-5 reads like this:
“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.”
God is faithful who promised, and He tells us that if we spend time with Him, quality time, He will give us the desires of our heart. Where do you think those desires came from? From God, of course. Did you know that God placed spiritual gifts, and a destiny in you, and that he fashioned your days before you were born? It was God that put those desires in your heart. (Read Psalm 139, verse 13) “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.”
Psalm 139, verse 16 states further,
“My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”
Now, know this. God would not put the desire to be married in your heart, and then never send you a spouse. Remember Genesis 2, Verse 18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Men need us !! They really do !!
Ladies, remember, you will meet your husband on the date and time appointed before the foundation of the world. God is always on time; He is NEVER LATE !! Trust Him. It is all about Divine Timing (Read Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3) “To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven.” Your season will come!
A perfect example of divine timing is The Book of Ruth. Ruth married a man, who died, and rather than stay behind in his land, she journeyed with her mother-in-law, Naomi, back to Naomi’s homeland. It was there that Ruth met Boaz, her future husband.
God will even make sure that no matter where you are or where you work, you will meet your husband. Some of you are thinking, “My husband is not at my job.” God can have you cross paths with your husband on the way to work, on the way home from work, or on the weekend when you are running errands. Do not force it, or try to make it happen. Just let God do what He does best, setting up supernatural blessings through divine appointment. God will make sure that you will be in the right place, at the right time.
There are people praying right now for you to meet your spouse. People you do not even know are asked by God to pray for you and your future husband. I had the opportunity to cross paths with a couple very much in love. You could see it on their face and in their body language. I first saw them in a coffee shop. A couple of months later, while I was browsing in a store, God brought that man’s name to my remembrance and told me to pray for him at that very moment. So, I did.
Now, I never usually go to the second floor of this particular store because the second floor has furniture; I much prefer browsing through all of the kitchen gadgets located on the first floor. However, the Lord prompted me to visit the second floor that day, and would you believe the very man God asked me to pray for a few minutes prior was on the second floor, and standing next to him was the same lovely woman I had seen him with at the coffee shop a couple of months ago.
There is no such thing as a coincidence. I was very flattered that God asked me to pray for them, and He confirmed it by having me travel to the second floor to see them standing there. I did not know they were in the same store, at the same time as me, but God did. So, I continued to pray for the two of them. I felt in my heart and spirit that he wanted to marry her, and I prayed for their love to grow and blossom, and for him to propose to her. I knew he needed a companion, and that he wanted someone to share his life with. A year later, I read in the news that they became husband and wife. They have never met me; I have never met them, but I see them around town on occasion, and I am always reminded of the time God used me to pray for them. It has been nearly 7 years now, and they are still very much married; and I believe very much in love. So you see, as I was instructed by God to pray for them; God also instructs people unknown to you, to pray for you and your spouse-to-be. Marriage is that important to God, and He makes sure that you are very much covered in prayer regarding it.
Please do me one favor . . . DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR HIM ! That is NOT your job; that is your future husband’s job. The bible says in Proverbs 18:22: “A man that finds a wife finds a good thing, and receives favor from the Lord.” You want to marry a man that puts God first in his life. So allow your future husband to spend time with God, and hear from Him regarding who you are, where you are, and where the two of you will finally meet.
I have to let you in on a little secret right now. I know where all these scriptures are by heart. I have not had to search for one scripture while writing this. Funny, huh? I even know what side of the page these scriptures are located on in my bible, and what color I highlighted them in, too. So, I genuinely understand what it feels like to WAIT. I am in the waiting process myself. How can I have the full understanding of how you feel, if I do not personally experience the same thing? I have been asking and praying, and waiting, and reminding God about my husband, just in case He got busy and forgot about it –which I know He did not. For me it has been close to 10 years of asking, and praying, and waiting . . . , but I am not disappointed, I am excited to meet God’s choice for me.
Do me another favor . . . Please do not join a dating service. I have friends who belong to dating services, who spend their hard-earned money paying the monthly fees, and who are still single. What a waste of money, especially when God’s dating service is FREE. How can you say you love God if you do not trust Him. Think about it. God created the heavens and the earth, and all living creatures in 6 days. He is efficient; and cares about the tiniest of details. He placed everything and everyone exactly where they are supposed to be. So, when it comes time for Him to send you your husband, do you really think that He turns to Jesus and says, “Gee, I forgot where I put her husband. I hope she joins a dating service to find him because I have no idea where he is.”
No! God knows exactly where your husband is, who he is, what his name is, and what he looks like. God even knows what day the two of you will meet. It has been pre-arranged by God. So, please do not pay money for a computer to find your spouse.
Rest assured that when God sends you your husband, He is going to send you the right one. The computer at the dating service did not create you; the computer at the dating service does not know your needs, only how to process forms that people fill out. Come now, you know some of those men lied on their applications, or at least embellished a little. So, you will end up being matched to a man that does not really exist. Ladies, were you completely honest in filling out your application? Shall I remind you that none of us women really weigh what our driver’s license says we do. Enough said.
Yes, the waiting can be hard on certain days, but waiting does not mean you sit there and do nothing. Waiting means you keep busy while God is preparing you and your spouse for the day you will meet.
Have you bought your dress yet? No? Ask the Lord if you can start shopping for it. I did. My dress has been hanging in the closet since 2004. Every year I buy a different piece of the outfit. In 2005 it was the shoes, 2006 was the gloves, 2007 was the cathedral train, and 2008 was the earring and bracelet set. In 2009, I bought the yellow ribbons to make the bows on the pews. I am not sure what I am going to buy in 2010; maybe that will be the year. However, if it is not; I will still continue to get ready for my husband, and I will not be disappointed because I know it is about Divine Timing.
I will soak myself in the Word of God, and pray for the husband I have not met yet. When was the last time you prayed for your husband to have a great day, or to overcome a trial or tribulation? Just because you have not met him yet does not mean you cannot pray for him now.
God knows your likes and dislikes. He knows what you need in a husband more than you do, and God knows the man that will complement your destiny. You see, you are not really marrying a spouse; you are marrying your destiny. Whatever ministry and spiritual gifts God has blessed you with, those are the gifts and ministry that will line up with what God has blessed your spouse with. The two of you are the missing piece to each other’s puzzle that makes it complete.
Your spouse will be your companion, the one who finishes your sentences, the one who stares at you while you are sleeping because he still cannot believe that God hand-picked someone as wonderful as you to be his companion, and he is also the one who will probably leave his clothes all over the floor for you to pick up. Your spouse may not understand why you just burst into tears, but he will be the one who will hug you, and hold you while you do.
A word of caution, do not compromise. Ask the Lord to remove any possible counterfeit husbands. The devil fights dirty, and he would just love to have you marry the wrong person. A counterfeit may look like your ideal husband, he may say the right words to hook you, and he may be sooooo “Godly,” but be on the lookout. Be in prayer! A counterfeit cannot imitate 100% of the truth. There will be something not right about him, and God loves you enough to show you before you make a mistake. God will not allow the devil to deceive you if you are in prayer. However, there are those that do not want to wait any longer, and they will marry anyone just for the sake of being married. Remember your husband is entwined into your destiny, so you do not want to marry the wrong man. You have waited this long. Please, please wait just a little bit longer for the man that God has personally selected just for you.
One last thing, stay away from singles’ ministries; they are nothing more than pick up joints for Christians, and men pretending to be Christians just to find a wife. A single woman anxious to be married should not be around a group of single men anxious to be married. It is a great way to marry the WRONG man.
I attended a singles’ ministry once. It was the dreaded Friday evening; you know every single person’s worst nightmare. I was coming from work into the Valley, so I was one of the last ones to arrive. Well, when I opened the door, all heads turned, and I could feel in my heart, and hear by the Spirit of God what people were thinking, “Oh, God, is that my wife?” “God, is she the one?” The spirit of loneliness was prevalent in the room. It made for a very depressing evening, not because I did not meet my husband, but because all those people were so desperate and they were so focused on getting married here on Earth, that they were missing out on the best bridegroom/bride relationship there is – the one you have with God. God was not their priority! It showed me that God was not first in their lives!
Single women should fellowship with married women, widowed women, divorced women, and other single women. Think of all the knowledge and experience you will gather about men by meeting all those women in various stages of life. Think of all the great stories they have to share with you.
As it happened, I left the singles’ ministry meeting before it was over – I had seen enough, actually I had seen too much! I literally wiped my feet off on the doormat and started praying for all those lonely people as I walked to the parking lot. I went home; grabbed my cat, made a bowl of spaghetti (comfort food, you know), curled up on the couch, turned on the TV and thanked God for the intimate time that we were about to spend together, just Him and me. I had the best time that evening; I realized I was not missing anything. I had all that I needed within the four walls of my living room. I had a home that God provided for me, I had a job to pay the bills that God provided, I had a kitty cat named Sweet Pea to curl up beside me (something that offered fluffy love and an endless supply of hugs) that God also provided, and I had God all to myself !! I have a lot of those evenings. I call them “Date Nights.” Sometimes, I even dress up just for God, make a fancy dinner, eat by candlelight, and dance in the living room with my God!! My first love!!
Ladies, fall in love with God, first. Spend time with Him, and let Him teach you how to love your husband. Your husband will thank you !
Cross Creek Bridge Ministries
P.O. Box 572391
Tarzana, CA 91357
Tel: (818) 881-2009
Toll-Free: (877) 303-CCBM (2009)
Cross Creek Bridge Ministries is a qualified IRS Section 501(c)(3) Organization